The Beltway Sweeper

This is a story I made up while commuting with Duke from Falls Church to Reston. We always talked about the roads we were taking, the most unique of which was the Beltway. I told this story every day for weeks, upon request, on our way to and from school and work.

The beltway, I-495, has an inner loop, that goes like this (clockwise), and an outer loop that goes like this (counter-clockwise). A long time ago, cars would zoom by one another, and once in a while, something would fall off a car on the inner loop, like a mirror, and go bouncing onto the outer loop, and CRASH eeeeewwwrrrr!! An accident. And this would happen often, so they decided to do something about it.

Soon enough, they had erected tall green posts in between the inner and outer loops. Then, when something fell off a car, like a hub cap, BONK, it would hit the post and fall in the middle. It worked wonderfully and there were hardly any accidents.

After many years of safe driving, the debris that fell off the cars started piling up near the posts. And then one day, a car was driving along and its tire fell off and BONK, it hit the green post, landed on the pile, but then rolled back into the road and CRASH eeeeeewwwrrr!!! Another accident!

And that is why sometimes, late at night, when it is dark out and not many cars are on the road, you just might see...deh duh DEHHH...THE BELTWAY SWEEPER. It has four big wheels, two on each side. Coming up from the wheels are large stilts that the sweeper sits on, so it can drive right over the green posts. There are two big twirling brushes that sweep up the car parts, and the shoot up a tube into a compacter, which squishes it flat so it can be used again. So, if say a red car loses a door, and the Beltway Sweeper comes to sweep it up, it will squash it into a piece of red metal that can be used to make another red car.

The beauty of no alarm

Sharon is showered and dressed and out of the house by 6:30. Before she goes she feeds Serra in the basement and Caribou on the side porch, and leaves those two doors open so the dogs can go inspect each other's bowls after they are done (they seem to think this is very important). It is becoming more commonplace for Duke, Ty, and I to be able to sleep through all of this. When we do, I leave it up to chance as to how I will be awakened:

• Caribou goes downstairs, comes around the back porch, and barks to be let in. The "boof!" repeats every 30 seconds
• Serra comes upstairs and noses her way into Duke's room, and then the door closes behind her. Barking to be released from room-with-no-food commences.
• Both dogs miraculously make it to the bedroom without getting trapped, clickety-clack their way across the floor, and collapse loudly onto the floor with gusty sighs indicating they have surveyed the entire house and there is no more food out.

However annoying at the time, any of these beats an alarm clock any day.